i haven't eaten yet but i've had two cups of coffee
i'm kinda, shaaakkkkkeeeyyy
woooooooooot
i'm listening to an old fierce gig from may 29th of last year at the stork club. it's so crazy. those songs seem so distant. my voice is wavering all over the place and the band is so loose...but it's funny...hearing outkast and my first songs that i no longer sing...i'm waiting for 'your flesh is nice' to come on. it was the jeff buckley song i did at that show...it was our last band gig too...did you know if you type in 'phierce' in google my website comes up? wierd...is google psychic or what? strange...oooh the song just came on. god this song is so rad, i can't believe i attempted this in public hahahha! everyone should sing 'your flesh is nice, wanna take a bite' it's just too much fun. but it was the day, and he needed to have one of his songs done...
okay anyway
been doing some drawing, woman being engulfed by a snake that turns into a tree...and listening to music. just being and breathing. i really wish i could exist in this cocoon a bit longer. to just BE and not have to do all these other things that are coming to the surface, begging for attention...job hunting and apartment searching. can't i just read, write, sing, draw, love and play all day? :) one day...one day soon.
i feel so close to the core of what i've been searching for. and i know once i arrive and claim it i will only begin a search for something else. as that is the nature of evolution and consciousness and life. and i embrace that, laugh at it, love it. everything changes and i am not immune to that truth. it touches my fingers and wets my tongue.
brian is leaving today. his life and home is in sacramento and i've been trying not to fear the dissapearance of his face from my life. i know such love for him in his presence and yet such doubt and irrational suspicion of truth in his absence. the universe has brought me what i asked for only a little over a week ago...and now it seems to be leaving...
but check it, he plays like me and takes self portraits (but he doesn't close his eyes like me, hahha) :
now i put on the fierce demo we recorded that i never let more than one soul listen to...
i forgot how much i love the song valium...
'my dreams, are solid answers
my fears, release demons
they draw black lines around the sun
they feed me valium...'
and how funny it was to have a song called 'little monkey'!!!
'there is no end in sight
inside my mouth is a sigh
i walk into the water
fell your mirrors on all sides.
i have tried the waters
but they are dry..,.
[insert little monkey screaming part! ha!]
i have seen the angles of my heart
distracted by the thought of you
i have heard the silence of my soul
distanced by the sight of you
haunted by a bitter view
i would not mind
if you died
for me
i would not mind
if you died
for me
you taste like
chocolate on the vine...'
okay that was enough of a trip down memory lane...
promise new songs coming soon, for real, on the site...
time to go now...
xoxo
kim
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