space and time and circles.

i am a thousand miles away from myself. i can see. i can hear. i can touch and taste and feel. but there is a new rule. a new sense of life. a boundary that has been broken. a freedome that comes from breath and song and noting that the self is alive. wholly. on it's own. i cannot control my belly. my heart. my fingers when they are at work listening to the heart. if i could sing until one hears i would. if i could swim until one sees i would cross the ocean. [he does not].
vanity and superstition haunt me. a cloud covers the seemless rip in my legs. drawing down the moon. backwards. i can't slide. i only feel the weight of fingers digging in the heart. waiting for release. waiting for fulfillment. is it true that love is a glass that will never empty? i would like to believe such things. for now. i sit up. unable to sleep. watching the fan roll and my sister sleep. it is good to be home. to feel alive. to feed off the energy of this space. i could change this world in a snap. i could change myself. hurt myself. leave myself. or. love myself. and my desires change in every instant.
tomorrow i will wander. suggest. leave the house half-dressed again.
and let new york city hold me.